As humans, it is very normal to want more and more love (things that feel good) and have an aversion to hurt (things that feel painful). But it is just part of being alive that we both love and hurt at different times. If we find we hurt a great deal after someone we loved has died, there can be a part of us that says, “Oh, I’ll never do that again!” And we can begin to shy away from loving deeply because we fear hurting again. So how can we acknowledge these things as they happen and choose to be very conscious as we give our hearts other options besides just shutting down? Try asking yourself a few of these questions:
What if we are compassionate to ourselves when we are hurting? When you notice yourself closing down, what if you are kind and gentle to that part of you that wants to shut down, not risk again? If you have a conversation with that part of you that is hurting most, what does it say? If it were a character you could sit down with to have tea, what would the hurt wear? What does it sound like? What does it move like? If you acknowledge all the hurt and show it love and more love and more love, what happens to it?