There is often an external or internal pressure to “do your grief work now” that comes with the implication that we’ll be punished later if we don’t. But what if we move within the framework of transformation instead of work ethic and punishment? What if you were to allow for the re-emergence of grief later to just be another signal that you are at a new stage of development? We often hear that children will continue to re-visit past traumas as they go through new stages of development. Couldn’t that also be true for adults?
We do the best we can in any given moment to tend our hearts. The past is past, and you did the best you could in that past moment. If something is emerging now, then let it be a signal that another opportunity for transformation is here. Does that feel like a more gentle self care than punishing yourself because you “didn’t get it right” in the past or “haven’t found closure yet” or whatever other gremlins raise their heads?
Given this present moment to re-explore, what new perspectives do you have about your grief experience? What are you most proud of in this new space today that you can see or do now that you were not able to do prior? When you give yourself permission to explore this re-emerging of grief as a transformational possibility instead of as a punishment, how do you feel? If you could put this new feeling into a movement, how would you move? As you move forward, what insight from today’s re-exploration will you take forward with you?